Vanessa Matthews
Author:
Vanessa Dent
Bluelavender Counselling

When we feel shame around loneliness we can also look at this feeling as the body’s protective mechanism

We are designed to be social creatures from birth and need community to survive.

As soon as a baby is born it learns to regulate its emotions by being in an interactive loop with its primary care giver. 

This regulation influences the biochemistry and structure of the brain, etching neural pathways as a guide to relating and managing stress. 

For example in cases of neglect areas in the brain such as the amygdala (fear radar) grow weaker neural pathways and cannot do an adequate job of holding back fear. 

So if someone is not there to regulate baby back to ‘ok’ then baby can get stuck in hyper-arousal, cortisol is raised which lowers immune system and dopamine and serotonin drop. 

This can result in depression and anxiety, and with the original baby needs still alive, a lifetime spent trying to raise dopamine and serotonin using substances like drugs, alcohol, food, gambling etc. 

Contact with others, including therapists, can increase these vital regulatory connections in the brain. 

So you see we are not meant to hold ourselves together defensively, but to be in community with others seems essential – go ahead reach out!

If you have any questions or need any information then please get in touch on 01635 791 301 or contact us here.

Warm wishes,

The Total Health Team

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