Vanessa Matthews
Vanessa Dent
Psychotherapeutic Counsellor

Shame is an unbearable feeling that we try and cover up and can make us feel like there is something terribly wrong with us. 

It is a relational problem and therefore needs relational attention – The opposite of shame being the empathetic recognition from an emotionally significant other.  

But paradoxically the last thing we want to do is share our shame as it is too shameful.  Therapy can provide an engaged emotional presence that nurtures interpersonal needs, facilitates reflection on and finding words for feelings.  This being heard and accepted fosters self compassion. 

Getting back in touch with yourself in this way and looking at deeper questions can enable you to make choices and changes you might previously not had the confidence to. 

When we are out of sync and not being true to ourselves the gaps between who we are and who we are having to be to keep others happy are filled with anxiety, disorders, phobias and addictions.  So rather than splitting off the parts that we do not like or can’t bear to look at, trying to accept all that we are made up of and really be with those feelings in order to dissolve them. 

Sharing our shame encourages us to be braver and live more comfortable lives, thriving not just surviving.

If you have any questions or need any information then please get in touch on 01635 791 301 or visit the contact us page.

Warm wishes,

The Total Health Team

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