You Don't Have To Hit Rock Bottom Before Talking To Someone
One of the biggest misconceptions about counselling is that it’s something people do when life has completely fallen apart.
That we only seek help when we reach a crisis point. Then we ask for help.
That counsellors only see people when their relationship has broken down, they’re unable to work, they’re overwhelmed, or they simply don’t know how to cope any more.
And it’s true.
Many people do seek counselling at that point.
But many people don’t.
In fact, a lot of people choose to speak to a counsellor long before they reach rock bottom. Others continue to see a counsellor even when life is going well, simply because they value having the time and space to think.
We Look After Our Bodies… But What About Our Minds?
We’re constantly reminded how to look after our physical health.
There is advice on how much to drink, how many fruit and veg we should eat a day and how many steps we should take and how many hours of sleep we should aim for.
But there is not quite so much advice on how to look after our minds. Even when we do suffer from mental health problems it tends to be something people don’t like to talk about as much as they do a physical problem.
There are ways you can help you mental health:
Reducing screen time, spending time with people you care about, walking outside and mindfulness whether that be meditating for finding activites we can lose ourselves in.
These are all healthy habits for the mind, just as exercise is a healthy habit for the body.
But sometimes, despite doing those things, life simply starts to feel harder than it used to.
When Life Feels Harder Than It Should
This when for some, it is a good idea to seek some help.
Maybe you keep having the same conversations in your own head without getting anywhere. Or that discussions with friends and family leave you more confused than before.
Perhaps you’re finding yourself becoming more irritable, more anxious or more emotional than feels normal for you.
Or maybe you’ve realised that you have patterns of behaviour that just keep repeating themselves or that there are experiences from years ago that still seem to influence how you react today.
You might still be functioning perfectly well.
You’re going to work.
Looking after your family.
Keeping everything going.
But underneath, everything feels like it takes much more effort than it should.
For many people, that’s a good time to think about talking to a counsellor.
Not because something has gone terribly wrong.
But because sometimes it’s easier to make sense of things before they become overwhelming.
One of the biggest myths about counselling is that you’ll sit in a room while somebody tells you how to live your life.
Good counselling doesn’t usually work like that.
Instead, it provides a space where you can explore what’s going on without worrying about being judged or told what you should do.
Which is where it differs from talking to friends or family members who do tend to bring their opinions into conversations (usually because they care about you).
A counsellor won’t make your decisions for you.
They’ll help you understand your thoughts, recognise patterns and work towards finding your own answers.
Sometimes that’s exactly what people need.
Not advice.
Just someone who will help you untangle what’s already in your own mind.
It Isn’t Always Easy
People sometimes assume counselling is easy because all you’re doing is talking.
In reality, it often takes a great deal of courage. And if you are here already reading this blog then the chances are it means you know that now might the time to start.
It isn’t always easy looking at parts of your life that you’ve avoided, revisiting difficult experiences or recognising patterns in yourself can be uncomfortable.
But many people also describe counselling as one of the most worthwhile things they’ve ever done.
Not because it changes the past.
But because it changes how they understand it.
You Don’t Have To Wait
If life feels harder than it used to…
If you’re carrying things around that never seem to go away…
If you’d simply like somewhere to think out loud without being judged or given somebody else’s opinion…
It might be worth considering a conversation with a counsellor.
You don’t have to wait until everything falls apart.
Sometimes the best time to ask for support is before you reach that point.
Thinking About Taking The First Step?
One of our counsellors, Yvette, offers evening and weekend appointments as well as a free 15-minute introductory conversation, either in person or over the phone.
It’s an opportunity to ask questions, find out how counselling works and decide whether she’s the right fit for you, with no obligation to continue.
We also have experienced counsellors, psychologists and GPs within the clinic who support people with a wide range of mental health concerns. If medication may be appropriate, one of our GPs can also discuss the options with you.
Whatever stage you’re at, you don’t have to work it all out on your own.
Rosie Piercy
Clinic Director
Total Health West Berkshire